The come down, the morning after the night before, getting back on the bike and all that. The whole of this year had been about that eye and was it worth the gamble, the stick or twist and yes I know I promised to shut up about it last time around, but it really has been about almost nothing else this year. Curating group shows thinking they might be the last I see, turning down shows because I couldn’t commit to them (I really didn’t know know if I would still have any kind of vision here at the end of April) and yes it is all a massive massive relief and yes, it has all gone well and yes I will shut up about it now. But it is all a massive come down, the whole year has been about that operation at the start of April and now it is about picking up the pieces and getting on with it again. It was intense, it was all consuming and I must confess I am a little lost in terms of getting on with it now. I am still on a cocktail of eye drops and “taking it easy” and not going far but it is about the picking it all up now and it does feel like the morning after the night before, that feeling after a show you’ve been focused on ends and that whole empty feeling when you take the art off the gallery walls only magnified many many times. What next? I hadn’t made any plans, I had turned down shows, no I couldn’t commit to things like Upfest this year (not sure I’m up for the evolved version of Upfest anyway?). So I’ve been able to wear a contact lens in my one working eye for ten days now, I am finding my feet again, I am out at art galleries again (writing about art again), I have been painting (I am still waiting for an updated contact lens so things are still hopefully going to get a little better)  and now I find myself mostly thinking about painting rather than actually painting. I have been painting but what do I want to paint? What should I be painting? One thing is for sure, what I have been doing in recent times (recent years), the things painted before the eye operation certainly aren’t enough. Why paint? it isn’t really a question, there is no option, what to paint? How to paint through the come down? How to get through this come down? I hadn’t figured on this come down after all the intensity. I haven’t properly painted for years…